I have a reputation among my close friends as a regular no-show at social events, even when I've assured them I'm going to be there. It's clearly deserved - I've become a hermit. I just want to stay home these days.
I don't know why, and it worries me a little. Depression, social phobia, agoraphobia? None of those seem likely given the pharmacy of meds I take. I'm comfortable in groups, social, outgoing and chatty - you would never call me an introvert. I used to love going out. So what's going on?
I have two parties to go to this evening, and I'm dreading both. And these are very casual, fun events with good friends and kids - Henry would come with. I've told everybody we're coming, and back when I was invited, I really thought they'd be fun. But it tires me just to think about putting out all that social energy, and I am trying to think up excuses to stay home.
My only explanation is that I'm constantly "on" at work; talking, collaborating, negotiating, being up and positive and helpful. So I just want to withdraw evenings and weekends. The line I use on Henry is "you always have fun once you get there" and it's probably true. But honestly, I'd rather stay home, cook an interesting dinner, watch a movie with H and knit.
Is that so wrong???
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